“If you do your best, God will do the rest.”

In the month of June, there is a day that’s celebrated for recognizing children’s day. My mother and father have eight children. I wanted to interview them about the importance of education. I wanted to know how they felt having eight children with a college degree. Here is my father’s, JB Long, story.

My father grew up in segregation. Even though it was no longer slavery, schools were still separated by the melanin of their skin. In elementary, he attended Mary C Wade. He would attend Mary C Wade until high school. For high school, he attended Carver High School. For college, he attended what was formerly known as Mississippi Valley State College. Even though English was his favorite subject, he majored in chemistry. He said he liked to talk, but he had a passion for learning to create and desired to invent things. Sadly, his passion did not come into fruition. He dropped out of college.

The reason he dropped out was because he and my mom were pregnant with my oldest brother. My father said that he knew several of his classmates that had children, but they were not in their children’s lives. He said if it ever happened to him that he would not be as those men. When they became pregnant, my father knew that he had to step up and raise his son. At the time, his mother in law, Gillie Jones, offered him the opportunity for my mother and Juan to stay at home with her. Instead, he knew that he wanted to be there for his family. He forsook education to be a provider. That was a decision he doesn’t regret.

My father reflected back on previous generations. His parents weren’t able to attend school as far as he had. His parents only received elementary educations. He is the second oldest out of eight. He was thankful that he was able to attend college for a few years. Just as his parents did for him, my father wanted to make sure that the “baton was passed” to his children. He wanted us all to understand the importance of education. “Education is something that you can’t take out of your head. Once you have it, you have it… to achieve great things in life.” His desires for his children were “to go as far and they can. Never settle for anything less.”

My parents have eight children. The order of birth is Juan, myself (Carman), Jason, Maury, Joshua, Shayla, Jenci, and Zierra. Juan graduated from Tupelo High School May 1989 and attended Mississippi State University. I asked my father how did it feel when the first child graduated from college. My father remembers the day Juan graduated from college. He was very proud of Juan because it was a sense of accomplishment. It was something that he hadn’t done. Because of what Juan did, it was an example for the younger siblings that were to follow in his steps.

As we talked, my father began to become emotional. I asked him how does it feel having ALL eight children with a college degree (associate, bachelor, and master). He answered “It is a legacy that people can take to the grave. It is a sense of accomplishment, joy, and peace. They have those degrees. With those degrees, doors are opened for them.” I can say that all right of us are successful in our own way and paths.

Children need support. The question asked was how can you show your children support as they are in school. I love the response he gave. “Support is not just saying the words. Support means showing up. Your child might choose band, and you might not like band. It doesn’t matter. You get off the coach, take off work, and go support them.”

He recalls a time when Juan had an out of town football game, and he was scheduled to work. As he reflected on the memory, tears began to form in his eyes. He’d always attended his games. That day, daddy told Juan that he wasn’t going to be able to make it, but he told him to do his best. All day long, he replayed the conversation in his mind and the look on Juan’s face when he told him. He said it was a look of rejection. My dad told his supervisor that he couldn’t stay at work. He had to leave early. He and my mom drove to Jackson, Mississippi to watch Juan’s football game. When they pulled up, he described Juan’s face in comparison as “losing a best friend.” He called his name to get his attention on the sidelines. He yelled, “Juan, Juan.. The moment he saw me, his face lit up… He started laughing and grinning…. As parents, you have to make sacrifices. Go out of your way to be there. That’s something children will always cherish. It’s the little things like that your child will always remember.”

Every time I interview a person, I always ask what advice can you give to the next person. My father’s response… “God did not make all children straight A students. As parents, we make mistakes trying to live our lives through children…. My motto for my children was to go to the classroom and do your best. If a C was your best, I was satisfied… Stand behind your children and support them. Do not try to force the child to be something you never became. Be there for your children. When they are doing right, stand behind them. Even if they make mistakes, still stand behind them…. Education is important. It’s like running a race. If you drop the baton, you haven’t won the race. You have to cross the finish line in order to be a winner. Even if you don’t cross the finish line in education, find out what they do their best in to help them be the best person they can be.”

His last words were the most profound of the day. “Let your children know you love them. Cherish them because the time will run out. It might be 60 days, and the next thing you know, they’ll be 16. The next thing you know, they’re graduating from high school. I tell people when your child graduates from high school, you lose your child. That child leaves the home to develop his/her identity. You love, you support them as long as you’re on this earth. Every decision “they” make might not be the best, love your children. Pray for them. Support them… If you do your best, God will do the rest.”