All about love

When it comes to relationships, there are some that desire to be single their entire lives. There are some that desire to be married and are still waiting. Some that have been married, divorced, and never desire to remarry again. Then, there’s people like me; those that have been married, divorced, but want to be remarried. In order to be remarried, I had to let something and someone go.

When I pray to God, I pray to Him like I am talking to one of my closest friends. I talk to God from my heart, but it wasn’t always like that. In my church background, I was taught that God was coming back for a perfect church. The only people that would go to heaven would be people without a spot, wrinkle, or blemish. I knew that I did certain things that were “commonly spoken” against over the pulpit. Even though the Bible lists a slew of sins, some like “gluttony” and others are overlooked. I felt that because I had sinned in the past that I wasn’t deserving of certain things, real love, and most importantly God’s love. Five months prior to me moving to Florida in July 2022, I received a prophetic word from God. The main thing spoken was “I deserve it all.” I have received lots of prophecies throughout my life, but this one was something that I held dear to my heart.

The reason why it meant more to me than others was that it resonated within my soul and revived me. The first love that I felt I didn’t deserve was from God. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I felt that I wasn’t deserving of God’s love because I was not perfect. I had the spots, the wrinkles, and the blemishes. When I prayed, it was prayers of gratitude for what He did (allowing me to see another day, blessing me with good health, protection over me, my children, and etc.) I very seldom went into depth about things that I wanted to ask God to do for me. I felt unworthy.

When I moved to Florida, my prayers and relationship with God changed. It strengthened. I had no one else but God to depend on. I couldn’t walk over to the other side of the house to ask my mom to pray for me on a matter. I couldn’t have lunch with a friend to discuss what was going on and ask for prayer. I was alone and felt alone in every area of all relationships. I longed for new friendships and desired to date again.

With my new transition, I learned to be very specific with God the desires of my heart in my new prayer life. Psalms 66:18-20 (NIV) says “If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened. But God has surely listened and has heard my prayer. Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me.” God doesn’t want us to hold back from Him. When we pray, we should never be ashamed to ask Him for anything because God is love. When it is answered, it will be on His time. In spite of the things that I have done and still might do, God loves me and wants to hear from me.

If you are feeling low, talk to God. If you feel you don’t have the right words to say, say them anyway. If you feel that you are not loved by God, you are wrong because He does. Never allow anyone to tell you how your relationship should be or look like with God. Your relationship with God is exactly what the words say, your relationship. Yours only.

I know that I am not perfect. I know I have spots, wrinkles, and blemishes. Regardless of what a person says, no sin is greater than the other. No one can put me in heaven or hell. Even with my imperfections and flaws, I no longer feel that I am not worthy of God’s love. John 3:16 (NIV) says “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” I know that God loves me.

This blog is the dedicated to the something (unbelief) that I had to get rid of out of my life. In my next blog, I will discuss the someone that I had to get rid of out of my life. With His love for me, He listened to the desires of my heart, and He sent me the one for me.