In part one, we learned about Greg’s beginning dreams, how he became a teacher, how he learned he had cancer, his struggles with being vulnerable, and how being ashamed of being vulnerable went out the door. In part two, Greg takes us through his surgeries and accepting there is nothing else the doctors can do for him.
Greg reflects on his biggest surgery since 2018 (the first surgery after being diagnosed). There was a tiny piece of cancer cell left behind. His doctor scheduled a colonoscopy. He wanted a picture of the tumor before Greg would have yet another surgery. He’s already had six/seven prior to this one. The doctor was very strict with his instructions. He explicitly stated for them not to push pass the tumor, just get him pictures. If you can’t do it, stop. What did the guy do? The complete opposite of what the doctor instructed. He was very rough, and he ruptured the tumor. The tumor burst inside his body. At the time, Greg was unaware that it had ruptured and an infection was growing inside his body. Because of the wrong doing, he almost died. This was his second near death experience. He’d had one as a child playing on McDonald’s playground. This time was an outer body experience in his living room floor.
A few days after the particular colonoscopy, he vividly remembers feeling feverish and sweating. He told himself, “I’m ok. I’m ok. I’m just going to lay here on the couch. I’ll be ok. ” He began to feel worse and in severe pain. To help eliminate pain, he laid on the floor. This was when life left his body. Greg didn’t know how long he laid in the floor, but he came back to himself. He thought about his step daughter, and she would be coming home soon. He didn’t want her to see him on the floor. “I felt an immediate pull into my body, pulling me back to life” He is thankful that he revived.
I asked him if he ever thought he would have cancer. He didn’t think he would because he and his siblings were tested for the genetic gene. The test showed no genetic markers for cancer. When Greg was having the first signs of cancer, December 2017, his primary care physician referred him to the specialist because his grandfather had colorectal cancer. His father had colon polys, but his didn’t develop further. Even though his testing showed no markers, Greg was diagnosed with colon cancer in 2018. A few years ago, his sister was diagnosed with breast cancer, and she is going through her own breast cancer treatments.
He and his sister are huge advocates for research. “It’s something with genetics that we haven’t unlocked yet. We participate in everything. I’m gonna try. Even if it’s (research) not for me, it’s for the next person.” As we spoke, Greg and his family were preparing for a trip to California. He is a part of research that forces the blood to fight off cancer. He is the first person that the doctors have used this technique for cancer. It’s been used for cardiovascular technique but never for cancer. His cancer cells have been replicated in mice to study. Even when he is no longer here on earth, his story will be a part of ongoing research.
For me, as his friend, it is tough not seeing him around the school. Even with his colostomy bag, Greg still came to school. There were days that I would see him, and I could tell that he was in pain. I’d ask him how he was doing. He’d respond, “I’m here.” I would think to myself here this man is in pain, wearing a colostomy bag, and he doesn’t complain. He still pushes himself to come to work each day and teach English to over 100 students. It is very humbling because we take so many things for granted. Each time I’d see him walking the halls, it was a quickening in my spirit. My prayer was “God, please help me to not complain. Help me to realize that there is someone else that is worse off than me.”
I wanted to know how it is for him not being able to come to work. “It’s tough….In America, it’s a part of our identity. We introduce ourselves by our occupation not through anything else. I have been a work driven person. It is a difficult transition. Now, I can’t work. I have to stay home. It’s depressing. I want to be there contributing to the kids that I care about, ones I’ve formed relationships with. They are important to me too. It is detrimental to not have them.”
I can truly say the kids feel the same way about him. In part one, I mentioned his unique teaching styles. One of my favorite things he does with the students is having them meditate each day for one minute. They would meditate for one minute before he did any teaching. At first, the students would be hesitant. By the end of the year, the majority embraced it. He says “The one minute a day is probably the only minute they’ll be quiet that day. They’ll have the chance to hear from themselves.” There is no other teacher like Mr. Guy. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8jVmp1X/ ( video message from students to Mr. Guy)
The reason that he is no longer able to teach anymore is because the pain is unbearable. His cancer battle has been ongoing for 7 years. In earlier discussions, he and the doctor would talk about when this “time” would come. In January or February, he received the news that he has about six months left to live. The doctors said there is nothing else they can do. “This is the last chemo option. However the disease progresses, progresses. We can make you comfortable.” Greg understood what that meant. He said even if it was other treatment options, his body doesn’t have the strength to fight through it like it did seven years ago. Each treatment has different side effects and different strengths to those side effects. Per say, the next one might eliminate vomiting, but it might add body aches and pains. Right now, he’s already in pain. “Anything intensifying would be miserable.”
When the doctor gave him the news about his life coming to an end, the doctor was more upset. He’d been his doctor for the last seven years and been there with him through it all. Greg accepted the news and said it’s a finish line. It’s an ending point. There would be no more questions. He would no longer have to ask. “What’s next? What do I do next time? What treatment are they gonna put me on now? How many drugs are they gonna throw at me now? When is the next surgery? When will I have to go back into the hospital? All of the anxiety and worrying stops.” Even though it is a lot of questions, it is what kept him going for so many years. Now, he has been able to put that to sleep. In the other aspect, he can focus on “how good was my life.”
Greg opened up more on what he meant by that statement. “I tell people it’s not how long you live but how deep you live. How deep and rewarding are the moments you have in life. I think that’s more important than having a lot of moments. There are people that have a lot of money. They’ve traveled all around the world. They’ve been to Bora Bora, and they die miserable. They had experiences, but they didn’t have deep and meaningful experiences. Sure they went to Bora Bora, but they were just there because it was Bora Bora.”
I asked him if he has fulfilled everything he wanted in life. He took a deep breath and said people have asked him that a lot. He said life isn’t about a “bucket list. It’s not about making life into a list or checking off tasks. I feel very satisfied with my life coming to end. I am not worrying I didn’t get to do this thing. I didn’t get to do that thing. I don’t have all these unresolved things. Looking back, I don’t think there’s anything I haven’t done. I get to think about all these great things I did accomplish. Instead, I reflect and realize. Wow, what a great life I did live. All these people I met and all these relationships I got to make. There are people that I thought would be there here for me, but they are no longer in my life. Then, there are people who have entered my life that I would not have imagined being here, and they are a support for me. The good. The bad. The ugly. Relationships don’t end because of one person. I don’t paint people one way or another. I treat everything as a growing experience. I think looking back I don’t think there’s I’ve left undone. Would I be glad to have a couple of more healthy years to enjoy outdoor activities, sure? Yes, but I don’t think my life is less because of that. “
As I do in every interview, I asked Greg what advice would he give to someone that’s battling cancer. “It’s not the end. It’s only the beginning. Because you’ll learn so much about yourself. Your relationships. The people around you. It makes it an enjoyable experience in so many ways…. It’s the backhanded. It’s a blessing through cancer too. If you allow it, it can give you clarity in a lot of aspects of your life. Look for and focus on the positive. Cancer doesn’t bring a lot of positive. People don’t talk about it because it’s cancer. It’s terrible, but… as far as you having it, it can be an eye opening thing that can help you work through things you haven’t worked through on your own.
If you’ve ever had the pleasure of talking to Greg, you know that he is very witty. The man can has the quickest comebacks and never short of words. My last question of the interview was what advice will you give to anyone that is taking the time to read your blog. “Do less. Be more… A lot of times, we get caught up in things we are doing. How many charities we are involved in. How many church groups we attend. How much money we make. How many cars we drive. Everything is quantifiable an has a dollar sign. I think we need to do less. We need to disengage in things. We focus on selling yearbooks (This was a pun to me. I am over the yearbook for the school. By the way, I do have one of his poems included in the yearbook ). We get so involved in tasking that we forget being. We don’t spend enough time breathing and exploring. ….The only person that you have to be happy with is you. Everyone else is replaceable. When you close your eyes, you are still there. When you wake up in the morning, you’re still there. You are the one that you need to be satisfied with.”
Loving all of Carman: Mind, heart, body, and soul 