“The lessons the last twelve months gave me”

Once, I was having a conversation with someone. We both were scrolling on Facebook. The person said, “I don’t understand why people make individual birthday post on their Facebook page. It’s just a birthday.” I told that person it is just a birthday, but it’s another year that the person gets to celebrate being alive. I mentioned to the person that I had friends that lost children that were younger than me. I had classmates that passed away at an early age. Life is special and deserves to be celebrated because there is someone that didn’t get to see the age that we were at the moment. She told me that was true and appreciated me breaking it down that way. I, too, had to change my way of thinking when it came to celebrating my birthday.

For years, my focus would be on who didn’t wish me a happy birthday. I anticipated a certain loved one, friend, or ex-boyfriend to send me that birthday wish via call, text, or social media post. On one particular birthday, one of my close friends called to wish me a happy birthday. She asked me how my day was going. I ran down the names of the list of the people that hadn’t reached out to me. She put me in my place really quick. She said gal. Don’t you focus on the people who have not. Look at all the love you have received. That’s what’s important. From that moment on, I have not reflected on who has and hasn’t reached out. I focus on the love from the ones that do. Even if a person doesn’t wish me a happy birthday, I no longer get caught up on it because I know life is crazy. Life is hard. People are dealing with so many things. It’s hard to keep up with everyone’s birthday. If a person doesn’t wish me a happy birthday, I no longer take it personal.

June 3rd is my birthday. On the morning of my birthday, one of my daughter’s wished me a happy birthday. Then, she proceeded to ask what are three things that impacted you negatively and positively this past year. Here are my answers.

One of the negative things is the number of losses in death I incurred. I had an aunt, a cousin, and friends that passed away. I have experienced lots of losses in my life. Death is no stranger to me. I feel the older I get the more that death impacts me. I saw my aunt’s health declining for a few years. I prayed that her health would be restored, but she wasn’t restored on earth. My cousin’s death came at a total shock. She and I didn’t talk everyday. Whenever we did catch up, we would talk or text back and forth for a couple of hours. We talked about our children, our jobs, ourselves, and something funny we saw on Facebook. Honestly, I still haven’t processed her being gone. One of my coworkers passed. He battled cancer for seven years. In January, his doctors told him that he only had approximately 4-5 months left to live. In spite of his news, he still remained positive. During one of our conversations, he told me that I am very talented with my gifts of photography and writing. He told me I have a way of capturing moments that others do not have. I hold his words near and dear to my heart. Even though he is no longer here, I want to grasp some of the concepts that he lived by; take on that spirit of less stress, embrace the moments, and focus on those moments instead of what is yet to come because tomorrow is not promised to any of us.

The second thing was year three at school. Year three was very hard mentally. There were a lot of significant changes. I worked in corporate America for almost 30 years in banking. I am accustomed to changes. Because of my knowledge and skill set, there were lots of times that my supervisor would call and say I was needed at another branch because they are short handed. I was able to do teller, loans, and new accounts. There were even other times when staff changes would occur, and we could be switched to another branch effective immediately. Therefore, changes were nothing new to me, but this school year was hard mentally.

Whereas in banking, you might develop a relationship with a customer, but you might not see the customer for another six months. As a middle school teacher, I see the students each day. I am one that believes in developing relationships with my students and parents. Due to staff transfers, students having to have certain accommodations that requires an inclusion teacher, and principal swap in the middle of the year, the middle school’s schedule changed numerous times this year. I’d develop a relationship with the students, and I’d have to inform them the schedule was changed. Some of these students started opening up to me about certain things that were going on. I was their safe haven. All I could do was pray that the situation changed for the better or the student found safety in another teacher.

The last negative thing was my health. In the last 12 months, I was diagnosed as a diabetic. This was the last thing I expected or wanted to hear. I have lots of family members that are diabetics. I saw how hard it was for them. When I lived in Tupelo, I saw my endocrinologist on a quarterly basis. For years, I was borderline diabetic. He and I devised a plan. I saw a nutritionist. He and I talked about different things that affected my levels. We kept close monitoring. We wanted to avoid me becoming a diabetic. I was working out more and more self conscious of what I was eating. I fought hard to never received that diagnosis, but it happened. I thought I was doing what I could to beat it.

The way the doctor told me was very impersonable. I was sitting there waiting on her to come in. She spoke to me and asked if I saw my lab results. I told her no. She said you’re diabetic. She gave me the results, the monitoring device with no instructions. She issued me some sample patches on my arm to wear, but those never stayed on. After I used the samples, I was clueless on how to use my monitoring device.

I called my mother and another friend to help me. I sent them pictures of me of my device, but it was different from theirs. They didn’t know how to help me. I was feeling defeated, but God made a way. …..Which leads me to my three positive things. God has always blessed me, and there are more things that God did for me. These happen to be my top three.

The first one is me taking a stand for my health. There is only me, and I have to take a stand for myself. I felt that the first doctor could have used more tactic and used polite bedside manners to deliver the news to me. After she gave me the news, she informed me that was her last day at the employee clinic, and I was assigned to the next doctor. He was worse than the first, but I didn’t change doctors. Sadly, I stayed. Another upsetting situation occurred with the new doctor. I, finally, had enough.

There is a saying that says fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I’d given them too many chances. I have the tendency to not stand up for myself on certain things when it needs to be addressed. Other times, I am too vocal. It depends on the situation. Situations such as my health should have always been a priority, and I should have always been vocal about my health. I canceled my quarterly appointment with him, called the other location, and made an appointment with another new doctor. My first visit with her will be June 17th. I have heard nothing but great things about her.

I will discuss more of my journey of learning I was diabetic in November, Diabetes Awareness month. For now, I am proud of myself for taking a stand for me and excited about making my health a priority again. I want to be a better version of me in all areas.

The second one is spending quality time with my family. I am a family oriented person. It is something that brings me joy. My siblings, parents, and I live all across the world. One parent is in MS and other in Florida. I have siblings in Alabama, Mississippi, Texas, Florida, and Australia. Last July, one of my nieces got married. It was a beautiful ceremony. After the ceremony, it rained extremely hard, but we didn’t care. We went under the tent. We ate good. We laughed. We danced. I had my first father and daughter dance. Every girl wants to be protected by her father and feel safe. For that moment, my father held me in his arms, and I had no other cares in the world. If it hadn’t been for the wedding, I wouldn’t have had that moment. That is something that I will never forget.

Lastly, I thank God for healing my parents. One of the major things that took a toll on me was having both of my parents have cancer at the same time. I did a lot of praying and a lot of worrying. My mom’s breast cancer returned, and my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer.

This was my mom’s second time having breast cancer but her fourth time having cancer in different parts of her body. She had a mastectomy with her first round of breast cancer. Statistics show the percentage of a person previously having breast cancer return in the other breast is extremely low. I asked God why did my mother’s breast cancer have to be one of those that returned. It would require her to have surgery. Often times, doctors do not like to perform on elderly, but it was recommended. After surgery, she didn’t have to have radiation or chemotherapy. I wasn’t able to be with her the day she had surgery, but I was able to spend a week with her last summer. During that week, I was happy to be able to take care of her. She had very little pain and healed well. She is my Warrior Princess.

My dad had prostate cancer. I have never seen him down. He is my Superman. Seeing him sick took a toll on me. With him never being sick, he was hesitant to have any checkups or procedures. I am thankful that the nagging from the people that love him convinced him to have himself checked out and to make sure everything was ok. That’s how he discovered he had cancer. He, too, would have to endure surgery. Even though he lives in Florida, he didn’t want me to take off work. He didn’t tell me the date of the surgery because he knows I would have still come. After his surgery, he did a new type of radiation. Once he completed all his treatments, there were no cancer cells left. God healed both of their bodies.

I thank God for keeping my mind. The year was hard mentally. There are many other things that happened. I was a functioning depressed person. I was working each day and lots of hours. Inside, I was broken. I kept a lot of thing to myself because it was always something going on. I said people wouldn’t believe all these things kept happening to me. Every now and then, I would confine in a few close friends. One of my friends told me she didn’t realize how I was still holding on because a lot of people wouldn’t be able to go through the trials that I was experiencing and not give up on life. Once, my youngest daughter asked me what I did to God because I kept having things happen to me back to back. She and I laughed.

In spite of it all, God is still God. He restored my hope when I wanted to give up. He gave me strength when I felt weak. He sent a financial blessing when my cup was low or negative. He healed my body when it was in pain. He blessed my children in the areas they needed. He has done so much for me that I can’t tell it all.

I know there will be other things that I will have to endure these next twelve months. I know that everyday won’t be lemons and everyday won’t be lemonade. I will say that I am praying for some relief in these next twelve months. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Regardless of what might come my way, One thing I do know is that but I know that God will help me with them all.

Here’s to year 48 and what it will bring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!