“Make Valentine’s Day about loving you”

Happy Valentine’s Day. The old me would cringe when I heard these words. The reason I did is because I have been divorced since 2013. I’ve dated some, but I haven’t dated a lot. From the few that I dated, there was only two men that bought me gifts on that day.

Valentine’s Day is supposed to be a day to show the person you love how much you love them by purchasing gifts. It ends up being a day of different emotions for people. A lot of men don’t want to get into the hype because they say it’s a man made holiday. Guess what? All holidays are that we celebrate. Man made everyone of them. Women are excited because they want to receive the gifts. They’re hoping that the love of their life took the time to go buy something they’ve hinted they’ve wanted. A lot of women hope for engagement rings the day. Then, there are the single women or men. Society has made the world to feel that you have to be with someone on Valentine’s Day. When you aren’t, you might feel alone. This post is for the singles.

Once, I was the single and feeling lonely on Valentine’s Day. Before I got on social media, I would look at my coworkers having flowers and gifts delivered to them. I was happy for them. Deep inside, I was wishing that one of those bouquet of flowers could have been for me. When I got on social media, I wouldn’t spend a lot of time scrolling on February 14 because I was desiring to be boo’d up with someone myself. It wasn’t for a like or a heart. That doesn’t drive me to make a post or share. It was because I wanted to have a man to celebrate the “day of love.”

It wasn’t until I started loving myself more that I realized that I didn’t have to have a man to make myself happy. Please don’t get me wrong. You’ll never hear me or read me say that you don’t need a partner. I do desire companionship. I do desire to remarry, but my thoughts about me are different.

I know that the first person I must love is me. I have to make sure that I am good mentally. I have to continue to seek counseling through good and bad moments. Counseling keeps me balanced. I have to make sure that I can communicate effectively with my future husband. I can’t shut down if we have a disagreement. Communication is everything. I have to know how to work things out. I have to make sure that I am in good health condition physically as well. I want to travel and do outside activities with my future husband. Therefore, I have to make sure I’m in good shape. I had to learn to love to cook. One my first go around with marriage, my ex, children, and I ate a lot of hamburger helper. Now, I feel that I’m Chef Boyardee in the kitchen. I’m in there about four out of the seven days a week trying a new recipe and posting my cooking videos on TikTok. I gotta know how to cook well for my future husband.

I love the person that I am becoming. It’s ok to take yourself out on a date today. Self care is one of the greatest things you can do for yourself. If you aren’t at the place where you can dine alone on Valentine’s Day, don’t beat yourself up. It takes time to get to that place. Instead, you can doordash or Uber eats. You can try a recipe that you have wanted to try. You can go buy yourself some flowers. You can buy yourself your favorite perfume or cologne. You can take yourself to the movies and see the new Bob Marley movie that’s being released today. Whatever you decide to do, it doesn’t matter. As long as you remember, you are your greatest gift. You are a blessing to be alive.

Please know that because you are not in a relationship that it doesn’t mean that you aren’t beautiful or handsome. It doesn’t mean that you are worthless. It doesn’t mean that no one want to be with you. Please know that there is no greater love than self love. On today, I want you to look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself, “I love you.” 💛💛💛💛

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. Go love yourself. 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾